Chapter 54

As soon as the two of them had left, Elizabeth walked out to recover her spirits. That is to say, she went out to dwell without interruption on the thoughts that must sink her spirits still lower. Mr. Darcy's behavior was both surprising and distressing.

"If he came here only to pretend to be silent, grave, and indifferent," she said to herself. "Why did he come at all?"

She could think of no answer that would give her any pleasure.

"In London he could still be kind and pleasant to my uncle and aunt. Why then could he not be so to me? If he is afraid of me, why did he come here? If he no longer likes me, why is he silent? What a vexing man he is! I will think no more about him."

Her sister came near and walked with her. Thanks to her, Elizabeth kept that resolution for a while without being aware of it. Jane's face was cheerful. She looked far better satisfied with their visitors than Elizabeth was.

"Now," said Jane. "The first meeting is over, and I feel perfectly easy in my mind. I have learned how well I can bear it, and I shall never be embarrassed if he comes again. I am glad that he dines here on Tuesday. Now everyone will see that on both sides we meet only as ordinary and indifferent acquaintances."

"Yes, very indifferent indeed," said Elizabeth, laughing. "Oh, Jane! Take care."

"My dear Lizzy, surely you cannot think me so weak as to be in danger now?"

"I think you are in very great danger of making him fall as deeply in love with you as he was before."

The sisters did not see the gentlemen again until Tuesday. In the meantime Mrs. Bennet gave herself up to all the happy plans that had come to life again, thanks to the cheerfulness and the ordinary politeness that Bingley had shown in his half hour's visit.

On Tuesday a large party gathered at Longbourn. The two who were most eagerly awaited arrived in very good time, with a sportsman's punctuality. As the company went into the dining room, Elizabeth watched eagerly to see whether Bingley would take the place beside her sister, the place that had been his at every party before. Her mother's mind was full of the same thought. So she did not ask him to sit beside her. Bingley seemed to hesitate as he came into the room. But Jane happened to look around. And she happened to smile. It was settled. He sat down beside Jane.

Elizabeth looked at his friend with a feeling of triumph. Darcy bore the sight with an indifference that might be called noble. But if she had not seen Bingley look at Mr. Darcy with a face half laughing and half frightened, she would have believed that Bingley had received his friend's permission to be happy.

During dinner Bingley's manner toward her sister showed his admiration. It was more careful than before. Even so, it was enough to make Elizabeth believe that Jane's happiness and his own were certain, if only he could be left wholly to his own will. Elizabeth did not dare to trust in that outcome. Still, it was a pleasure to watch his behavior. It gave her all the liveliness that her low spirits could produce. Mr. Darcy sat at the farthest distance from her, with the table between them. He was on one side of her mother. Elizabeth knew that such a place could give pleasure to neither of them and could show neither of them to advantage. She was not near enough to hear their conversation. But she could see how seldom they spoke to each other, and how formal and cold their manner was whenever they did speak. Her mother's unkindness to him made the thought of what they owed him more painful to Elizabeth. At times she would have given anything for the right to tell him that his kindness was not unknown to the whole of the family, nor unfelt by them.

She hoped that the evening would give some chance of bringing the two of them together. She hoped that the whole of his visit would not pass without any talk between them beyond the formal greeting they had exchanged when he came in. She was anxious and uneasy. So the time she spent in the drawing room before the gentlemen came was long and dull enough to make her almost rude. Everything that could make the evening pleasant depended on the moment when they came in.

"If he does not come to me then," she said to herself, "I shall give him up forever."

The gentlemen came. Elizabeth thought that he looked as if he would do what she wished. But alas! The ladies were gathered so closely around the table where Miss Bennet made the tea and Elizabeth poured out the coffee that there was no gap at all. There was not room beside Elizabeth for a single chair. And when the gentlemen came near, one of the young ladies moved closer to her than before and whispered.

"The men shall not come and part us. We do not want them at all. Do we?"

Darcy had walked away to the other side of the room. Elizabeth followed him with her eyes. She envied everyone to whom he spoke. She had hardly patience enough to hand the coffee to the others. And then she was angry with herself for being so foolish!

"He is a man who has been refused once! How could I be so foolish as to hope that his love would come back to life? Is there one man among them all who would not hate the weakness of a second proposal to the same woman? There can be no humiliation more hateful to a man's feelings than that."

But she recovered a little when Darcy came himself to return his coffee cup. Elizabeth seized the chance to speak.

"Is your sister still at Pemberley?"

"Yes. She will stay there until Christmas."

"Quite alone? Have all her friends left her?"

"Mrs. Annesley is with her. The others went away to Scarborough three weeks ago."

She could think of nothing more to say. But if Darcy had wished for conversation, he might have carried it on better than that. Still, he stood beside her for some minutes in silence. At last, when the young lady whispered to Elizabeth again, he walked away.

When the tea things were taken away and the card tables were placed, all the ladies rose. Elizabeth then expected that Darcy would soon come to her side. But her mother was eager only to fill up her table of Whist. She made a sacrifice of Darcy and in a moment had him seated down with the others. Every plan was ruined. Now every chance of pleasure for the evening was gone. The two of them were fixed at different tables. Elizabeth had only one thing left to hope for. It was that Darcy's eyes would turn so often toward her side of the room that he would spoil his own game as much as she spoiled hers.

Mrs. Bennet had meant to keep the two Netherfield gentlemen until supper. But unluckily their carriage had been ordered to come before anybody else's. So she had no chance of keeping them.

When the visitors had gone and only the family was left, Mrs. Bennet spoke. "Well, girls, what do you say to the day? I think that everything went off uncommonly well. I assure you. The dinner was as well cooked as any I ever saw. The venison was roasted exactly right, and everybody said that they had never seen so fat a haunch. The soup was fifty times better than what we had at the Lucases' last week. Even Mr. Darcy admitted that the partridges were uncommonly well cooked. And I suppose that he has two or three French cooks at the least. And, my dear Jane, I never saw you look more lovely than you did today. Mrs. Long said so too. For I asked her myself whether you were not pretty. And what do you think she said besides? 'Ah, Mrs. Bennet. We shall have her at Netherfield at last!' She did indeed say so. Mrs. Long must be the best person in the world. And her nieces are very well behaved girls. I like them very much because they are not at all pretty."

In short, Mrs. Bennet was in very high spirits. She had seen enough of Bingley's manner toward Jane to be certain that she would get him at last. When she was in good spirits, her expectations of what her family would gain went far beyond all reason. So she was very much disappointed that he did not come back the next day to make his proposal.

Miss Bennet spoke to Elizabeth. "It has been a very pleasant day. The party seemed so well chosen, and everyone suited one another so well. I hope that we may often meet again."

Elizabeth smiled.

"Lizzy, you must not do that. You must not suspect me. It is humiliating. I have now learned to enjoy his conversation only as the talk of an agreeable and sensible young man. I assure you that I wish for nothing more than that. From his behavior now I am perfectly satisfied that he never had any thought of winning my affection. It is only that he was born with a sweeter manner than any other man, and with a greater wish to please everybody."

"You are very cruel," said her sister. "You will not let me smile, and you provoke me to it every moment."

"How hard it is in some cases to be believed! And how impossible it is in others! Why do you wish to persuade me that I feel more than I have admitted?"

"That is a question which I hardly know how to answer. We all love to instruct others. But we can teach only what is not worth knowing. Forgive me. And if you continue to be indifferent, do not make me the person you confide in."