Chapter 59

"My dear Lizzy, where in the world have you been walking?" This was what Jane asked Elizabeth the moment she came into the room. Everyone else asked the same thing when they sat down at the table. Elizabeth only answered that they had wandered about until she herself no longer knew where she was. She blushed as she spoke. But neither that, nor anything else, made anyone suspect the truth.

The evening passed quietly, and nothing happened. The lovers who were already engaged talked and laughed. The lovers who had not yet spoken their hearts were silent. Darcy was not a man whose joy ran over into laughter. Elizabeth was flustered and confused as well. She knew that she was happy rather than felt it. Besides the awkwardness of the present moment, there were difficulties ahead. She could guess what her family would feel when the news came out. No one but Jane liked Darcy. She was afraid that they even held a dislike of him which all his fortune and rank could not remove.

That night Elizabeth opened her heart to Jane. Doubting was very far from Miss Bennet's usual nature. This time, however, she simply could not believe it.

"You must be teasing me, Lizzy. That cannot be true! Engaged to Mr. Darcy? No, no. Do not try to fool me. I know that it is impossible."

"This is a terrible start! You were the one person I counted on to believe me. If you will not believe me, then surely no one else will. But it is true. I am speaking in earnest. He loves me still, and we are engaged."

Jane looked at her with doubt in her eyes. "Oh, Lizzy! It cannot be so. I know how much you disliked him."

"You know nothing about it. All of that must be forgotten. Perhaps I did not always love him as I love him now. But in a matter like this, a good memory is a fault that cannot be forgiven. This is the last time I shall remember it myself."

Miss Bennet still looked at her with astonishment. Elizabeth assured her once more, and more seriously, that it was true.

"Oh my! Can such a thing really happen? Still, I must believe you now," Jane cried. "Dear Lizzy, I congratulate you with all my heart. But forgive me this question. Are you sure that you can truly be happy with him?"

"I have not the smallest doubt. He and I have already settled it between us that we shall be the happiest married couple in the world. But are you glad? Will you like having such a brother-in-law?"

"Very, very glad. Nothing could give Bingley or me a greater pleasure. But we thought about it and we talked about it, and then we decided that it was impossible. Do you really love him enough? Oh, Lizzy! Marrying without love is the one thing you must not do. Do anything else instead. You must be quite sure that you truly feel what you ought to feel."

"Oh, yes! When you hear the whole story, you will think that I feel more than I ought to feel."

"What do you mean?"

"Then I must confess that I love Mr. Darcy more than I love Bingley. I am afraid that you will be angry."

"Dear sister, please be serious now. I want to speak about this very seriously. Tell me at once everything that I ought to know. Will you tell me when you first began to love him?"

"The feeling grew so slowly that even I hardly know when it started. But I think I must say that it began on the day I first saw the beautiful estate at Pemberley."

Jane begged her once again to answer seriously, and that plea had the effect it was meant to have. Elizabeth solemnly repeated that she loved Darcy. Jane was soon satisfied. Once she believed that, Miss Bennet had nothing more to wish for.

"Now I am completely happy," said Jane. "You will be as happy as I am. I have always respected him. His love for you would have been reason enough for me to respect him always. But now he is Bingley's friend, and he will be your husband. Only Bingley and you will be dearer to me than he is. But Lizzy, you were truly secret with me, and you hid your heart. How little you told me about what happened at Pemberley and Lambton! Everything I know about that came from someone else and not from you."

Elizabeth told her why she had kept it a secret. She had not wished to bring up Bingley, and her own feelings were unsettled, so she had avoided his friend's name as well. But now she hid nothing about what Darcy had done in Lydia's marriage. She told her everything. The two of them spent half the night talking.

The next morning Mrs. Bennet stood at the window and cried out. "Oh dear! That unpleasant Mr. Darcy is coming here again with our dear Bingley! I cannot think what he means by calling so often and troubling us like this. I thought he would go shooting, or find something else to do, and leave us alone. What are we to do with him? Lizzy, you must go out walking with him again, so that he does not get in Bingley's way."

Elizabeth almost burst out laughing at so convenient a suggestion. Still, it truly hurt her that her mother always called him by such a name.

As soon as the two gentlemen came in, Bingley gave Elizabeth a very meaningful look. He shook her hand with great warmth. There could be no doubt that he knew the good news. Before long he said aloud. "Mrs. Bennet, are there no more little paths near here where Lizzy might lose her way again today?"

"I should like Mr. Darcy and Lizzy and Kitty to walk to Oakham Mount this morning," said Mrs. Bennet. "It is a good long walk, and Mr. Darcy has never once seen the view there."

Mr. Bingley answered. "It would suit the other two very well, but it is certainly too far for Kitty. Is that not so, Kitty?"

Kitty admitted that she would rather stay at home. Darcy said that he was very curious to see the view from the hill. Elizabeth agreed without a word. As she went upstairs to get ready, Mrs. Bennet followed her and said.

"Lizzy, I am truly sorry that you must be alone with that unpleasant man. But do not mind it too much. It is all for Jane's sake. You do not need to talk to him at all, except for a word now and then. So do not put yourself to any trouble."

During the walk the two of them decided to ask Mr. Bennet for his consent that evening. Elizabeth said that she would ask her mother herself. She did not know how her mother would take it. There were moments when she doubted whether all of Darcy's fortune and grandeur could overcome her mother's dislike of him. But it made no difference whether her mother opposed the marriage bitterly or rejoiced over it wildly. Either way, it was certain that she would not behave sensibly. Her first shout of delight, and her first burst of opposition, were things that Mr. Darcy must not be allowed to hear.

That evening, not long after Mr. Bennet went away to his library, Elizabeth saw Mr. Darcy rise and follow him. The sight shook her greatly. She was not afraid that her father would refuse. But he would be made unhappy, and she would be the cause of it. She was his dearest child. It was dreadful to think that she would trouble him by her choice, and would fill him with fear and regret as he gave her away. She sat there in misery until Mr. Darcy came back. When she saw him smile, she felt a little relieved. A few minutes later he came over to the table where she sat with Kitty. He pretended to admire her needlework, and he said in a low voice. "Go to your father. He is waiting for you in the library." Elizabeth went at once.

Her father was walking about the room with a grave and anxious face. "Lizzy," he said. "What are you doing? Have you lost your senses, to accept this man? Have you not always hated him?"

At that moment Elizabeth wished with all her heart that her earlier opinions had been more reasonable and her words more restrained. Then she would not have had to make such deeply awkward explanations and confessions. But now they had to be made. In some confusion she assured him that she loved Mr. Darcy.

"In other words, you are determined to have him. He is rich, of course. You will be able to have finer clothes and finer carriages than Jane. But will such things make you happy?"

"Is there any reason for you to object," said Elizabeth, "other than your belief that I do not care for him?"

"None at all. We all know that he is a proud and unpleasant man. But that is nothing, if you truly like him."

"I like him. I truly like him," Elizabeth answered with tears in her eyes. "I love him. There is no unfair pride in him. He is the kindest man alive. You do not know what he is really like. So please do not hurt me by speaking of him in that way."

"Lizzy," said her father. "I have given him my consent. He is indeed the sort of man I would never dare to refuse anything that he graciously asked for. If you are determined to have him, then I give my consent to you as well. But let me tell you to think about it further. I know your nature, Lizzy. I know that you can be neither happy nor respected unless you truly honor your husband and look up to him as a man above yourself. You have a lively and quick mind. In a marriage that did not suit you, that gift would put you in the greatest danger. You could hardly escape disgrace and misery. My child, do not give me the sorrow of watching you fail to respect the partner of your life. You do not know what you are doing."

Elizabeth was moved still more deeply, and she answered him seriously and solemnly. She assured him again and again that Mr. Darcy was truly the man of her choice. She explained how her feelings toward him had changed little by little. She said that his love was not the work of a single day. It was a feeling that had lived through many months of uncertainty, and she was completely sure of it. She named his good qualities one by one, with warmth, and at the end of it she softened her father's doubts and won his acceptance of the marriage.

When she had finished, her father said. "Well, my child. I have nothing more to say. If that is so, he deserves you. I could never have given my Lizzy away to a man of less worth."

To improve his opinion further, Elizabeth told him what Mr. Darcy had done for Lydia of his own accord. Her father listened in astonishment.

"This evening is one surprise after another! So Darcy did the whole of it. He made the marriage happen, he gave the money, he paid that fellow's debts, and he even got him his place as an officer! So much the better. It will save me a great deal of trouble and saving. If it had been your uncle's doing, I would have had to pay him back, and I would have insisted on doing so. But young men who are so violently in love always have their own way in everything. Tomorrow I shall offer to pay him back. He will shout and rage about his love for you, and that will be the end of it."

Then he remembered how uneasy she had looked a few days before, while he read Mr. Collins's letter aloud. He teased her and laughed at her for a while, and at last he let her go. As she left the room he said. "If any young men come for Mary or Kitty, send them in to me. I have nothing at all to do."

A very heavy weight was now gone from Elizabeth's mind. After half an hour of quiet thought in her own room, she was able to join the others calmly enough. Everything was too recent for her to be merry. Still, the evening passed peacefully. There was nothing greatly to fear now. The comfort of ease and familiarity would come in time.

That night, when her mother went up to her own room, Elizabeth followed her and told her the important news. The effect was extraordinary. On first hearing it, Mrs. Bennet sat perfectly still and could not utter a single syllable. She was not usually slow to believe such things. News of a gain to her family, or news that a suitor had appeared for one of her daughters, she believed readily enough. But for many minutes, for a great many minutes, she could not take in what she had heard. At last she began to recover herself. She stirred restlessly in her chair, stood up, sat down again, and was full of wonder and amazement.

"Oh, heavens! Merciful God! Just think of it! Oh my! Mr. Darcy, of all men! Who could ever have imagined it? Is it really true? Oh, my dearest Lizzy! How rich you will be, and how important! How much spending money you will have, and how many jewels, and how many carriages! Compared with this, the match Jane has made is nothing. It is nothing whatever. I am so glad and so happy. What a charming man he is! How handsome he is, and how tall! Oh, dear Lizzy! Please say sorry to him for me, because I disliked him so much before. I hope that he will let it pass. Dear, dear Lizzy. And a house in London too! How wonderful it all is! Three daughters married! An income of ten thousand pounds a year! Oh, my goodness! What is to become of me? I shall lose my wits altogether."

This was enough. There was no need to doubt that her mother approved. Elizabeth was thankful that she alone had heard this burst of feeling. She soon left the room. But she had not been in her own room three minutes before her mother followed her in.

"My dearest child," she cried. "I can think of nothing else at all. An income of ten thousand pounds a year, and very likely a great deal more! It is as good as marrying a nobleman! And you must have a special license. You must certainly be married by a special license. But my dearest child, tell me which dish Mr. Darcy likes best of all, so that I may have it ready tomorrow."

This was a sad sign of how her mother would behave when she met the gentleman himself. Elizabeth had surely won Darcy's warmest affection, and she had the consent of her relations as well. But she saw that there was still something more to wish for. Even so, the next day went far more smoothly than she had expected. Happily, Mrs. Bennet stood in great awe of the man who was to be her son-in-law. So she did not dare to speak to him, except when she offered him something or showed that she respected his opinion.

Elizabeth was pleased to see her father taking pains to become better acquainted with Darcy. Mr. Bennet soon assured her that his opinion of Darcy was rising with every hour that passed.

"I think very highly of all three of my sons-in-law," he said. "Wickham is perhaps my favorite of them. But I believe I shall come to like your husband as much as I like Jane's."